Anna Billingsley

We believe it is through the grace of our Lord Jesus that we are saved. Acts 15:11

I once heard a pastor from New York talk about ordering breakfast in Atlanta. When his plate of eggs and sausage arrived, it contained a blob of white mush.

“I didn’t order this stuff,” the pastor told the waitress. “Oh,” she replied, “grits come on every plate, whether you order them or not.”

Grits are just like the grace of God – available to us, in Sweet Monday parlance, free of charge and with no strings attached.

I, of course, am very familiar with grits — the “ice cream of the South” as my father always said.  Being a good South Carolinian, I have grown up eating this porridge made from boiled cornmeal.

I just never associated grits with God’s grace – a concept with which I have grappled.

Why would I be given a gift for no reason and on no special occasion? It’s available every day – not just my birthday or Christmas.

It’s hard to conceive of a totally unmerited gift. God’s grace is truly amazing! Grace is God’s gift to us through the death of his son on the cross. The idea is that by providing us with this gift, God works to effect change in our hearts and lives.

I don’t deserve this gift from God. None of us do. We all are sinners in thought, word, and deed. But through grace, God forgives us Christians and continues offering this gift to all of us, no matter who we are or where we are or what we have done.

What a blessing! Though I need not repay God’s gift of grace, I want to extend it to others. Acts of grace need not be all that lofty – and need not be requested or expected. Such an act can be a cool drink on a hot day. A note to a friend in need. An invitation to church. An act of hospitality. A lessening of a burden. A phone call. A compliment. A smile.

It can even be a breakfast invitation that includes grits, ordered or not!

One touch of nature makes the whole world kin. William Shakespeare

For me, two minutes and 30 seconds made the whole world kin! That was the amount of time I, along with my family and thousands of others, experienced a total eclipse of the sun.

WOW! That’s the only way to describe hearing crickets chirp, seeing stars appear, and being enveloped in total darkness at 2:45 in the afternoon. Wow, wow, wow!

Those of us in the zone of totality exulted in God’s majestic splendor. And for a few moments, in a world rife with political division, civil unrest, sin and violence, we all came together. And we all looked heavenward.

It was magical. We put our differences aside and shared a common vision – an almost inexplicable and totally awesome act of nature. No matter our race, our party affiliation, our gender orientation or age, we stood side by side and witnessed in unison what was for most of us a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

Lord, you reveal yourself every day in more subtle ways – a cleansing rain shower, a gorgeous flower blossom, or a towering tree. I pray that your children here on earth can bond over less spectacular signs of your omnipotence.

Thank you for drawing our eyes skyward for a brief shining moment. Cardboard glasses with special lens were essential that day. On a daily basis in the grittiness of life, we need to look all around us through your holy lens.

As Ephesians 1:18 so eloquently states it: “I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of His calling.”

“O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is thy name in all the earth.” Psalm 8:1

That passage sustains me.

I grew up hearing my parents refer to it as the “double O” Psalm. Not only does the number of the Psalm – 8 – look like stacked “o’s,” the scripture starts out with an “O” and an “our.” 

O Lord, has that “double O” pulled me through many a tough situation! It has become my mantra. I await the results of a medical test and allow the passage to run through my brain over and over again. I swerve and just miss hitting another car on the highway; the phrase becomes my prayer of gratitude. I lie in bed at night worrying about issues of the day – and of tomorrow. The beginning of Psalm 8 calms my restless mind.

I have repeated the first line so many times I have paid little attention to the other 8 verses. I recently took a closer look at the rest of Psalm 8. Wow!

When I consider your heavens,

The work of your fingers,

The moon and the stars,

Which you have set in place,

What is man that you art mindful of him?

Who is Anna Billingsley that you even know I exist, much less are aware of the number of hairs on my head?

I am the Lord’s creation. I am part of God’s grand plan. Yes, he has a lot on his plate, but God is mindful of me – little ‘ole me with all my foibles and faults. He sits beside me in fearful situations, he holds my hand as I navigate rocky terrain, he quells my rapidly beating heart when stress overtakes me.

He gives me sustenance in the form of scripture.

God brought me into the world. He created me for a purpose and has molded me and guided me ever since. Even when I fail to remember him, God – with the vast universe he oversees – never wavers in his mindfulness of me.

O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is thy name in all the earth!

Goodness and growth come with God as our guide

Folks, our world has been rocked.

As some of you know, I am the chief spokesperson and head of crisis communications for the University of Mary Washington. I realize we are all weary of hearing the term, but this IS an unprecedented time – we have a crisis within a crisis: a pandemic along with a wave of anger and anxiety. Oh – and for those of you who believe trouble comes in threes: have you heard that this is predicted to be a highly destructive hurricane season?

How do we cope? For Christians, the answer is clear: FAITH.

Faith has been a constant companion during my 63-year journey, and I’ll share a few stops along the way.

I was 23 and my sister was 21. Our family had been keeping a hospital vigil as my mother lay dying of cancer. We told our dad to go home and take a brief break. So …that left the two of us at bedside when my mother drew her last breath.

I looked at my sister and said, “Nothing will ever be the same.”

My girls were young. I had worked a full day, come home and fixed supper, then started bathtime, wondering when their dad would ever be home from the office. As they were splashing in the tub water, my phone rang. “Mrs. Billingsley: This is the Fredericksburg Rescue Squad. Your husband has suffered a seizure in his car, we have him and are on our way to the hospital.”

I quickly phoned my best friend to come and watch the girls as I dashed to the ER. I said to her, in passing: “Nothing will ever be the same.”

I was teaching a class at University of Mary Washington when a fellow faculty member rushed in and said a plane had flown into the Twin Towers. Class quickly disbanded, and I became glued to the TV, watching the horrors of a country under attack.

Schools let out early, and when I picked up my girls, I said to them: “Nothing will ever be the same.”

It’s 2020. I’m working from home, I steer clear of public places – even my church – and I visit with friends and family via electronic devices. People around the world are doing the same. Coronavirus has gripped the globe.

I say to myself: “Nothing will ever be the same.”

True.

My mother, a kindergarten teacher who yearned for grandchildren, wasn’t around to meet them – or to be present at my wedding, for that matter. My husband’s seizure led to brain surgery, a diagnosis of multiple sclerosis and a year-long driving prohibition. We all know the effects of 9/11 – fear of things we had taken for granted, such as flying and going to the top of skyscrapers, took root in our souls.

As for the impact of COVID-19, the long term verdict is still out. Immediate effects, though, are that we are staying in or close to our homes, we’re participating in church via Facebook or YouTube, we’re wearing masks if we venture out, we’re having groceries delivered, we’re holding meetings via Zoom, and we are trying to wrap our heads around unimaginable death counts and infection rates.

Now, we are witnessing protests – most peaceful but some leading to tear gas and other outcomes – about systemic racism in America.

As I mentioned previously – this could be viewed as a crisis within a crisis. But it’s all a matter of perspective. Not to diminish death, illness, and destruction, maybe this is an opportunity within an opportunity.

We are being forced to pause, reflect, mourn, pray, adapt, and appreciate.

In times of crisis and upheaval, we seem to focus on all that we’ve lost. However, in this age of constant acceleration, think about what we have gained from days of quarantine (other than a few pounds!): less need to drive, greater opportunities to commune with nature, more time to spend with our loved ones and to pursue our passions.

When COVID-19’s rampage diminishes, I pray we hang on to those positive values and habits.

We have seen good come from both disruptions – one health-related; the other societal and cultural. Greater kindness, and maybe more open minds, endless donations and “Thank yous” and words of encouragement to essential workers, first responders, those in need. Refreshments for protesters. Food or flower deliveries to senior citizens, cards sent to nursing homes, more electronic connections to far flung family. Greater grace extended to people of color.

We now have a chance to reinvent and create a better world where we can all work, rest and play in the new normal.

Whether it’s a pandemic, a social uprising, a terrorist attack, death of a family member, or diagnosis of an illness – anything that creates the sense that nothing will be the same — Christians can and will persevere. Faith can and will overcome fear.

Paul said in Romans 5:3-4, “We know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”

Farther along in Romans, Paul proclaims: “We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purposes.”

God is watching over us. His desire is to strengthen us, build us up, and bless us. If we want to witness rainbows, we need to trust Him during the storms.

Here is my prayer: When things appear to never be the same, believe it, embrace it, and look to God for a brighter, better tomorrow.

I don’t usually like viral things (like coronavirus and popular social media posts) but I was taken by this poem, and it means more now that I know about the young woman who wrote it.

Leslie Dwight was 13 years old when she learned that her father, who passed away when she was just a newborn, had actually died by suicide. This tragic revelation taught her the importance of staying resilient during trying times.

She said, “I think that people are feeling that lack of hope now, but they need to remember it is still there.”

“I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” John 10:10 NKJV

As my dear friend Kim, who suffered from a recurrence of an aggressive form of cancer and faced her final days in her earthly home, I said to nearly everyone I encountered: “Kim covets your prayers.”

What an odd way for me to express a desire for fervent prayers.

When I think of the word covet in a biblical context, my mind immediately goes to the 10th commandment and “thou shalt not.”

Here’s what Merriam-Webster has to say about covet:
1. to wish for earnestly.
2. to have an inordinate desire for what belongs to another.

What an interesting dichotomy. There are things, according to definition No. 1, that I should covet (prayers) and things that No. 2 would prohibit me from coveting (my friend’s designer shoes).

I struggle mightily with the covet commandment. No – I do not covet my neighbor’s spouse. But I do often find myself coveting a neighbor’s car, lifestyle, landscaping, fitness regimen, new gadget, or good fortune. Doesn’t it sometimes seem that “the grass is greener” and that life is more charmed among our friends and acquaintances?

When the lives of others appear to be richer, easier, fuller, it’s hard not to covet. But doing so leaves us feeling empty. Instead of possessing an inordinate desire for what belongs to another, we should earnestly wish for the fullness and abundance of life in Christ.  Through such a life, we will find riches beyond compare. An unshakable faith in God, like that exhibited by Kim as she confronted her cancer, is something to covet.

“Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.” Psalm 30:5 NLT

It’s 2:36 a.m., and I’m wide awake.

Work woes and worries dominate my mind. Why, Lord?

How can sleep be so elusive? When I’m in this predicament, three options exist: panic, pop a pill, or pray.

Panic occurs when the anxiety that caused my insomnia is supplanted by worries about the problems of a sleepless night: How will I function effectively in that meeting tomorrow? What if I have bags under my eyes? Suppose this is the beginning of a pattern … and on and on and on.

The time to take an Advil PM is long before the panic sets in. By the time I’ve realized sleep won’t come, it’s too late to pharmaceutically assure a good night’s sleep; taking a sleep-inducing pill at 2:30 in the morning would guarantee I’d snooze right through that morning one-on-one with my boss. Uh oh – more panic.

That leaves prayer – either as I lie in the bed tossing and turning, or by physically removing myself from the site of my restlessness. I sometimes seek a comfy chair, grabbing my Bible and a blanket along the way.

Often, the words to one of my favorite hymns come to mind:

I, who made the stars of night
I will make their darkness bright
Who will bear my light to them?
Whom shall I send?

Here I am, Lord. Is it I, Lord?
I have heard you calling in the night
I will go, Lord, if you lead me
I will hold your people in my heart

It’s true – sometimes we find ourselves wide awake due to our worries, stresses or anxieties, but it also could be the case that God calls us to wakefulness in the small hours. When else could He grab my attention long enough for me to listen to Him?

So now when I find my eyes wide open in the middle of the night, I try to avoid frustration; I focus on faith. It’s all part of God’s plan. What better time to really listen to my creator and to discern the wonderful things he has in store for me?

This I know: No matter how dark or restless the night may be, joy comes with the morning.